day like... always?

I wake up at 6am, turn off my alarm clock and try finding a little box with medicines I need to take. Found it, yay! I drink some water and accidentally spill it on the bed, merde! I put the mug back and try falling asleep again, which to be honest is not hard at all. I wake up two hours later, finding it difficult to open my eyes and discovering that I’m going to miss my bus. I dress in a hurry. There’s no time for breakfast but I can still put at least some make-up on. The bag is already packed, that’s a good thing. I take my phone, plug the headphones in and run to the bus stop. I have 5 more minutes until the bus comes, a cigarette then. The bus arrives in the city centre. I run to my classes just to discover that there’s no one there. Awesome. I wait about 20 minutes. Still no one. I decide to go back to my uni halls, have some breakfast and watch one of the many TV series I follow. After 20 minutes I get there, have some breakfast, decaf coffee and afterwards another cigarette. I hope the other class is going to take place according to the schedule. An hour and a half later I get to the city centre. There’s still no one. I finally decide to go to ‘l’acceuil’ to ask what’s going on. They say the tutor has changed the room the day before and I have to go somewhere I have no idea how to get to. Nice. I fucking love how this country is organised… I finally get there and it occurs it’s a practical class, wtf… I’ve thought they only do the boring theory here. The best is still ahead of me. After an hour I discover there’s an exam… the next day. I have to sing, which I truly hate because I’m extremely bad at it, and do some performance together with it. I panic. What the hell am I going to sing? I finally find quite an easy song but there’s still the performance left to do. ‘Je suis dans la merde’. Eventually I manage to think of something but it’s far from my brightest ideas. I watch some other people’s stuff. It’s good. Why didn’t I think of any of that? I go back to my little piece. My brain is going to explode from that much thinking. We finally finish at 6 pm. I’m tired and the only thing I can think of now is sleep. I get home, eat some ‘petit beurre’ and fall asleep. I wake up at midnight. Fuck, I still have to think of some ideas for the exam. I ask a friend for some help and walk her through my ideas and my plan. I go to sleep again, only to find myself experiencing a sleep paralysis. I wake up terrified. What the hell is wrong with me? Somehow I manage to fall asleep again. I get up few hours later, drink my decaf coffee and prepare for the class. As I soon discover the 3 hours break has been replaced with an hour one and we’re having another class straight after the exam. Exactly what I needed.  I pass the exam despite being completely ignored by the tutor. Saying ‘It looks nice’ isn’t really helping, you know? It’s not like I don’t have a clue what theatre is, but apparently the Erasmus students are not even worth trying to be cared for. Thanks very much for being so supportive. I talk to the other students; I smoke, and talk again. It’s nice to finally connect at least a bit with them. I go to the other class and try not to fall asleep as it’s boring as hell. I go home and fall asleep immediately. I wake up and eat something as I need to be careful with my eating habits. I check Facebook and some other silly stuff in the Internet. I fall asleep only to meet my sleep paralysis friend again. I wake up wet and scared as hell. It really is far from funny. I try going back to sleep but I can’t, I’m too terrified of this thing happening again. Finally I manage to do so but it’s not enough to finish my translation homework and go to the classes. I wake up at 6am to take my medicine and fall asleep again. It’s 1 o’clock. I’m still feeling tired. I go back to sleep and find myself waking up in the evening. It’s like the last three days have been taken out from the calendar without me even noticing that… Can I go back to sleep again though? Spring hasn’t arrived yet so I can still enjoy my winter sleep ;)

'Au revoir'

I've been back in France for almost two weeks now. Soon to find out that my bank account was closed and a cleaning lady wanted to pay a visit to my room as she thought I had already moved out.. What a stupid country.. On the contrary I came back to people who make my stay in France a truly amazing experience. They never disappoint :) Missing my lovely Marina though who I couldn't even say goodbye to, but I'll hopefully see her very, very soon :) From Saturday we're short of another awesome member of our 'Chocolat groupe', Francesca. I truly hate goodbyes... You promise yourself you won't cry, but you always do. You smile and cry alternately. The kisses and hugs are not sad at all. The worst part of farewells is the thought that you might never see this person again, and it's heart-breaking. I hope we will all continue to keep in touch after finishing our Erasmus year. We even made a contact list for marriage invitations hahah. I guess I'm never going to get married, but still everyone can come for my baby cat's christening, baby shower or whatever lol ;p The most important thing is not to lose contact and visit each other as often as possible, and I hope we'll never stop doing that :)

Getting off the topic I've got a week off at the moment and to my luck I had to get ill. I'm so scatty that I forgot to take cold/flu medicines from back home and I knew perfectly well that I was going to get ill very easily. So I've been spending almost 4 days not being able to leave my bed, coughing like and old lady, sneezing like an allergic person, and using tons of tissues to blow my nose with. Horrible times but fortunately I'm feeling better today and hopefully I'll be able to leave my room tomorrow and do some food shopping and finally buy a BICYCLE :D yes, a bicycle so I'll meet my beautiful Jean-Pierre, fall in love and then get run by a truck lol :D hopefully without the truck at the end ;p haha

Plus I wanted to do something productive like going to the theatre, but to my luck, there's no shows until the beginning of March... Why, oh why? I still have the Museum of Fine Arts left which I might finally pay a visit to as I've been trying to get there since September but always had better things to do. Hopefully it's worth a visit :)

Time to head back to 'Sex and the City' :)

Bonne soirée ;)

Oldies.

Something old. One was written over a month ago and the other I can't even remember.
(I keep writing on little pieces of paper, then forgetting about it and eventually finding it about a month later)

Tuesday, 30th October. Train journey from Zbaszyn to Poznan.

Since the last time I wrote something here, many things have happened. My birthday, of which I was so afraid, went pretty well. I spent it surrounded by my 'new' friends, a little bit "bourre" (but not too much, like it always happens :P), dancing like I was going to die the next day. 

Then there were other birthdays, a trip to Dole, some parties, etc. Everything perfectly fine, except from the university. It's so boring, terribly boring... I can't imagine studying full-time in France. I'd be bored to death. In theory, there is a distinction between lectures and seminars but in practice you can't really distinguish it. You just note. All the time. Oh and listen to your lecturer's/seminar tutor's opinions and interpretations.. Apparently French students are not able to create their own... I feel like I was back in high school. Oh wait. Even in high school I was able to express my opinions and assumptions. I truly miss Aber, even though I was mostly a rather passive listener. Yet it was good to at least listen to what others had to say, and participate if it got interesting. 

What's more, I eat too many baguettes... hahah. I always discover that I've put on weight when I'm in Poland. It's so freaking cold here. Besancon is similar to Aber, with this constantly changing weather. And Poland? It's a minus temperature outside. Brrr... At least I can visit my friends and finally spend some time with them :)

Haha I've almost forgotten to mention that our flat looks like a tornado had passed through it. My parents decided to renovate kitchen and two bedrooms at the same time.. A-mazing! Of course it's going to look incredible after it's finished but still, the whole process of using our living room (my bedroom when I'm at home) as a bedroom, living room and kitchen is just overwhelming. And of course it must have happened when I was back. 

So I decided to run away from this mess for a little while and I'm heading to Poznan to see my friend. We've already gone out on Saturday night, but an old good sleepover is never a bad idea. Especially with her :)

I'm still looking for my Jean Pierre but I kind of lost some of my hopes. France does not look the way I've imagined it. And the 'seeking for attention' side of me is going crazy atm... How sad is that lol.

"Mon prince! Ou es-tu?"

  "Depeche-toi!"

Date unknown, written on an English theatre class.

I am sitting on an English theatre lecture (or maybe it's a seminar?), trying to understand at least something. The 'prof'' is speaking so fast and with such a strong accent, so I've already given up.  I'm surrounded by about 30-40 French student who are surprisingly pretty quiet today. Usually they behave like a bunch of animals that were just let out of a cage. No respect for the tutor. No respect for the others who are actually trying to listen. 

I've given French a go. I've been patient. I've known it's going to take a while for me to adjust. After all I've been learning it just a little over two years. Not long at all. But why is it taking me so much time? Why can't I be some kind of a language freak? Even my English is letting me down now. I've no idea what's happening...

Sometimes I feel like coming to France was a very bad idea... I wasn't ready and I can see it clearly now. I've been waiting for some sort of miracle, which hasn't come yet. I remember the words of Francine, our 1st year French tutor, 'without doing anything, you can wait for the miracle forever, but it will never happen'. Maybe that's a clue for me?

Le temps agréable

I'm smoking my last cigarette and throwing away the tobacco bag with 'Fumer tue' on it. One has to die from something, right? At least the view from my window is quite stunning. The city of lights. They're all like matches someone has just lit, one blow and they're gone. Like human lives. One crappy moment in your life and you're gone, forever. But where? What could we expect after death? Heaven and hell? Or is there an after-life waiting for us? I guess I've been watching too much Supernatural lately. I must admit, I got addicted and it made me thinking. What if demons are actually somewhere out there? Should I spill some salt outside my window for protection? It wouldn't work in that crappy weather, I'm pretty sure of that.
What an irony! I wanted to escape from the constant rain that was annoying me so much in Wales, and here I am. It's been raining for 3 days now and I only have one pair of waterproof shoes. My wellies are in Aber. 'Why should I have thought of taking them with me? It's not going to be raining in Besancon'. Hell no! It's not so close to the seaside, is it? I was dumb enough to believe in that. Guess I'm gonna have to find a way around it.
My French life is going pretty good at the moment. Except from the fact that I'm still not sure of my timetable, it's been fine so far. Erasmus and non-Erasmus parties, meeting new people, improving my French and trying not to make a stupid English accent in front of the anglophones. Yesterday I went to the first performance. It was quite good. Not the best I've seen, but it was funny in a very intelligent way. It presented most of the German and Arabic stereotypes as it was a piece about a mixed couple. The use of three languages - French, German and Arabic- was also a big advantage. The piece was called Habibi, Mein Schatz which means 'honey' or 'my dear'. I must admit that I was impressed by the actress who, despite not being German, made a really good job with the accent and the amount of text that she had to learn by heart in German. I'm thinking about joining some sort of society or 'troupe'. There's a nice opportunity tomorrow, I can try getting part in the original version of Hamlet. I'm going to try, there's nothing to loose :)
And my birthday is coming in few days :) 21st, finally. I'm a little bit sad about the fact that I'm not going to spend it with my friends, the real ones. Shame, I know, but at least I've met some amazing people here :) It will be freaking amazing. It must be!

Btw. the only thing I miss about maccies is the food. I'm dying for a burger :(

C'est la vie (?)

Today is the day when it rained for the first time since I arrived in this lovely city. Before, I was being woken up by the sun every day. How amazing is that? It's raining now too, but it's nice and refreshing and not cold at all, like in Wales but without the annoying wind...

I'm getting so annoyed with the university. I miss Aber. In the UK everything is much better organised, you fill up one or two forms, register through the Internet, go to one or two meetings from your department and that's all. Here it's a nightmare... Everywhere you have to fill up a form, sign million thousand documents and bring one or two photos with you, so they can identify you. And they loose everything (like my dossier). At the moment I've got enough of everything. I've got no idea what am I studying because I've lost my Learning Agreement. Before arriving here I thought it would be easy. I've chosen my modules, of course I wanted to try everything from Theatre, Art, Archaeology, German, History to French. And now it occurs that there could be lots of problems because the schedule is made for all students, not individually. Merde. Hopefully my personal tutor will help me with all that, but it needs to be done extremely quickly as I'm starting  next Monday, ooh la la...

I miss the simple life in Britain where everyone tells you what to do hundred times and you don't have to worry about anything. That's true, I miss being treated like a complete idiot. At least it's easier that way..

I don't want to complain all the time. I'm not that sort of person, but sometimes things like that just grow inside you and desperately need to come out. That's just how it works :)

Today I found Latte Macchiatto in a small restaurant near the Museum of Fine Arts (in France they only serve small espresso in cafes or you have to ask for a bigger one, but it's never a proper big one). After having an enormous headache it was the best thing that happened to me today :) There was an amazing offer with a brownie for just 2,50 euro. I couldn't say no, could I? ;) The way the waiter pronounced 'brownie' was so amusing that me and Marina couldn't stop laughing. I love the way French people pronounce English words. Always with the 'r' and you never know what they have actually said to you ;) When I was travelling to Besancon from Lille, the announcements in the train were bilingual. At least they thought they were. For the French it doesn't matter if you understand them in English, they just do what they have to do. When they don't know how to pronounce a word, they merge it with the others so you have no idea what they have actually said. But hey, they spoke English right? Job done :)

The funny thing is that I didn't want to stick with either Polish or English students and here I am, making friends with Germans and living at the same floor with about seven Americans. They're cool, I have to admit. Especially Marina :) She's German but in comparison with other Germans - who are 'sehr punktlich', have to have everything planned and get extremely annoyed when something doesn't work out as it was planned - she probably makes the worst example of a German person haha :)

la France.. ooh la la

Bonsoir!

Change of plans. Now this blog is going to be both my writings space and a little journal from my year abroad in Besancon, France. Hope you'll enjoy ;)

Somewhere in France, 4.09.2012

So here I am, sitting in a TGV train to Besancon, my new home. It sounds strange calling it home, doesn’t it? A home where I barely understand the language, never been to before and don’t know a living soul. Hmm… that really must be a place called home ;) Anyway I’m being surprisingly calm. The only thing I was worried about was the subway in London. Maybe I would have been peaceful if I didn’t have to carry a massive suitcase, a huge backpack and a medium size handbag that could easily fit my laptop, Kindle, English - French pocket dictionary and a make-up bag. Fortunately I was lucky enough to attract strong gentlemen who were so eager to help me carry the suitcase downstairs that I couldn’t say no ;) Maybe it was my mind control? Who knows, never mind. I will never forget the worrying look at some lady’s face when she saw me struggling with my luggage. Her ‘Good luck’ was so encouraging, and by that time also the nicest thing that happened to me that day. Now I’m sitting in the train, wondering if my accommodation office would still be open. If not, where am I going to sleep? I don’t even want to think about it… everything went pretty smooth so far, let it continue please ;)

So the new chapter in my life begins today. I’ve got a year to learn the most beautiful language in the world, buy a bicycle, find my Jean-Pierre, and then travel France and Europe (or at least visit Paris, Cote d’Azur, Geneva and Rome ;)). Challenge accepted.

                Besancon, 5.09.2012

After arriving in Besancon it occurred that I have to take another train from the suburbs to the city centre. Panic in my head, how the hell am I going to buy the ticket? I can’t speak French! Luckily, the French are not far ahead from the British and there were many self-service ticket machines. First thing I’ve done was changing the language into English ;) Worrying a lot I found my ‘voie’ which was easy enough although with my entire luggage, it took me additional 3 minutes and I only had about 10. After 15 minutes journey, here I am – exhausted, with a heavy luggage and badly wanting a cigarette.  And again I was lucky enough to receive help from a very nice middle-aged man, who I couldn’t understand at all at first. Yet he was so patient with offering help to me that I was thanking him about 5 times during our way from the platform to the taxi rank.

Cigarette! That was the first thing I wanted to do while waiting for a taxi. When I finally arrived at the campus I was amazed. It was huge, green and even though it was really late, there was still lots of people around. I got out of the taxi, went to the accommodation office and there was a surprise waiting for me. It occurred that my ‘dossier’ with all my documents didn’t arrive which was weird considering the fact that I paid almost 10 pounds for plane postage that was supposed to arrive in 2-3 days… I had a lovely chat in French, trying to explain that I did send it and it must be somewhere there. No results. Finally I got the keys to a room on the 4^th floor in Batiment Pierre Gascar. No lift of course, but a man from the accommodation office helped me carry the suitcase. Even for him it was too heavy ;) Still excited I wanted to see the room and start unpacking my things but I met some nice people instead, who also helped me with the luggage, and I was invited to spend some time with them outside the uni restaurant. I was happy, making friends already yay!

My new room though wasn’t that exciting. It’s not big, but I expected that. It has everything that it should although the wardrobe is a bit scary and odd and I haven’t decided yet if I am going to keep my things in there. We’ll see. There’s no proper kitchen here, although there is a small kitchenette with two burners and a sink. Everyone have a small fridge in their room ;) It’s not a 5 star hotel but will do for the year. After kind of settling in the place and refreshing myself I hurried to meet people outside the restaurant. I thought all the Erasmus students don’t even try speaking French and they stick with English. To my surprise, all the people I met spoke French and it was really good French, not like mine. I felt a bit left out but if I understood or was asked something I tried speaking. That’s always a first step, isn’t it? It was a nice late evening and I met few Germans, Spanish, an Irish one and a French. Later on I managed to unpack some of the things and arranged them somehow in the room, I still haven’t finished though.

Next morning, I woke up with my whole body aching because of the luggage. I still needed to sort out my ‘dossier’ and go shopping with my German friend, Marina. I was pretty sure there should be at least a small shop on campus, but no there aren’t any. The closest one, Intermarche, is about 10-15 minutes away which is ridiculous. I did all my necessary shopping for few days and of course forgot about the adapter and now my battery is running low.

Alors, a bientot!